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Indian education: A product of alien conspiracy!

#IndianEducation #Education #Engineering #EngineeringEducation #Biology

Lately I have become fond of conspiracy theories, as it is nearly impossible to reconcile with absurdity that our nation is without a creative imagination explaining the self-destruction we are engaged in, especially with education.

We start schooling with Ma’ams demanding word-to-word answers so that a child inculcates an important value that rote is the only real learning that pays. We consolidate this conditioning by using MCQ-based exams to ensure that knowledge is reduced to context-less mugging of random words. At the end of schooling stage, we expose youth to coaching class culture glorifying “cracking” of exams to ensure that kids are not only devoid of knowledge but are also rendered incapable to learn when they pass through the sieve of this well laid-out system.

While the above process is good enough to annihilate learning in general, we endeavour to take self-destruction gloriously forward to cover even the exceptionally talented brains by force-uprooting them from their social context and shifting them to isolation of walled institutes of excellence like IITs to ensure that their social bonding is ripped apart and their learning has no real use for the society.

Looking at the efficiency of the system in place, we will have to admit that no other nation on earth could have done this better. Today we are a proud nation harbouring one-fifth of humanity that has virtually nothing to its credit in terms of intellectual contribution in an era where science has moved most rapidly in the history of humanity. So, if this has to make sense, we need a conspiracy theory explaining it.

As a sci-fi fan, I often imagine myself surreptitiously attending a meeting of a galactic council of aliens arranged to review a-bit-too-rapid progress of earthlings.

Eavesdropping in this meeting, I can see that they are worried about the ape’s shift from trees to moon in a really short period, and are looking at ways of slowing humanity down by couple of thousand years.

I can clearly imagine them sitting and debating the issue, only to arrive a simple solution of focusing on India. By destroying Indian education, they get one-fifth of humanity out of the play and dumb down the engine of intellectual progress of humanity. So, it makes perfect sense that our absurd education system is designed by aliens with an agenda!

Though above evidence is enough to form a fairly valid conspiracy theory, there is one more clue that seals the deal for me, and that is removal of biology from engineering education.

Of all insanity, this is the most momentous insanity of our system. Biology is the highest form of engineering, and it is evident that future belongs to bio-engineering domain.

So, removal of biology is a stroke of genius because it has taken us out of the race of the inevitable biotech-driven future. I can almost imagine the glee on the faces of alien committee when someone sitting somewhere in Indian education system thought that engineers have no use learning biology.

Looking at where we are today, using Sherlock Holmes’ logic of eliminating the impossible, and looking at whatever remains, no matter how improbable, to be the truth, I am really tempted to believe in my conspiracy theory of alien intervention, as it is impossible to believe that any nation on earth can do unto itself that we have done to the young brains of our nation.

Personally for me, the bigger tragedy is that our education system is not just keeping the nation poor and backward, it is also robbing some fine young brains from learning about the pleasure of knowing, which I feel is the very purpose of being  Homo sapiens sapiens.

I am happy to admit that I have managed surviving till now with minimum effort as all my intellect has be used to avoid doing anything meaningful. As I needed to while all the free time I generated in course of being lazy, science has been my favorite muse that I have enjoyed company of. As an effort to kill time (in a way, to get even with it) one fine day I decided to write a science column, more for my personal amusement than to attract readers. After getting educated about the attention span of modern readers from my editor, it became more like a challenge to tackle esoteric subjects in 600 words that I have managed to remain interested in for more than a year now. I do not want to add my worldly profile here as these are ideas that need to be considered only on the merits they carry and not as an opinion of a certain human being.

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