As I had the audacity to write my last piece responding to the tears of young Great Thunberg, my extremely learned Indian social media friends decided to educate me out of my uncouth stupidity of questioning genuinely of the western world that is always trying to save us.
I was under the impression that poverty is simple, and thus, unlike climate change, it is possible even for a moron like me to understand. But, I now understand that I may have made a huge mistake in thinking that poverty should be over first priority, as there is ample scientific evidence available that poverty doesn’t exists.
There could be ways and ways to look at poverty, but it is obviously boring to know that nearly a billion humans live on the same planet for about one dollar a day and most of them in India, so let me avoid this obscene and taboo subject unsuitable for the urban educated Indian senses refined in Indian academies where medium of conversation is English and try something different, and that is population.
As our massive population is obviously an indicator of our uncouthness and also a proof that we are responsible for climate change caused by human abuse of the planet, so let us look at it vis-à-vis our per capita GDP that links us to the crime of planet-exploitation.
As we are really uncaring about the climate change, we are a rude nation of 1.3 billion abusing the planet every year by extracting a humongous 2000 dollars per person from it. I am sorry to say that that is such a massive amount that it can buy each of us a much needed strap of a Gucci purse or even a taillight of a Mercedes. So, it clearly means that we are guilty of harming the planet.
Compared to it, our kind-hearted Armenian friends take only 65000 dollars from Earth’s kitty. As, probably because they are white and thus have a duty to think on behalf of all of us, they deservingly need more sustenance than us and so each of them have to gently take out at least 32 times more from planet than us to survive.
If we go to the nation of Ms. Greta, for probably the same reason, Swedish people too seem to require nearly 27 times more than us to stay alive and think about saving the planet from unnecessary exploitation by humans.
As each of these nations rightfully take so little that is obviously due to them, it is clear that the onus to save the planet rests on us Indian, Nigerians, Pakistanis, Indonesians and other inhuman races of the planet, because the planet needs saving from exploitation.
So, if any of us dare industrialise or use natural resources to lift our people out of poverty, it is obviously a sacrilege, and now a crime because it would steal a dream of a young Scandinavian girl and she would not forgive us for that.
What we Indians are failing to realise that if at all climate change arrives, it will cause misery to humans, and some of those humans who may end up feeling the pinch will be our fair-skinned brother and sisters of Ms. Greta who are not used to it, as they can survive only if they take 20-30 times more from the planet. So, the global priority of all of us should be to prevent Ms. Greta from crying.
On the other hand, poverty of people like Indians is a cake-walk. It normally consists of all the nice things that any rich person hopes to do, i.e. stay hungry, work a lot, not have to go to doctors or schools, and a just a minor inconvenient of dying young. So, even though a billion of them live that life without appreciating what they have, it is our moral duty to not hear their pleas to be lifted out of poverty and instead must focus on saving the planet from over exploitation.
The real education we Indians need is that planet is a shared commodity and hence we must have an equitable share in bearing the burden of collective problems like climate change and must give them priority.
Poverty, on the other hand is our local problem, and it has nothing to do with the way global economies are made to function. If you feel that the map of world colonisation by whites and the poverty map of the world look the same, you must accept that it is just a strange coincidence and nothing more.
The benevolent western world has always helped humanity and its efforts to save the planet from climate change are just a continuation of their fine understanding of natural justice that can best be communicated using a vernacular piece of homespun wisdom that is surely not taught in the elite academies of the world where my friends prefer to go to study, and that is, “Tera Mera Hamara, Mera Mere Baap Ka”.